I just watched The Silent Child for a second time and it was still just as brilliant as the first. What. A. Film.

I was not really sure how much I would be able to relate to the film when I realised that it was about a severely deaf child, me being only partially deaf and all. But I do struggle with my hearing, and thus this short film still spoke to me. It’s beautifully done, very well thought through and wonderfully acted. Above all, its message is so important.

When I was at school I had to learn French, or I could have learnt German. I never had the option of sign language. But the school knew that I was part deaf. They knew. I was never good at French really, I got a D in the GCSE, I was told to go to extra speaking classes at lunchtimes, and my listening exam they put my in the hall as far away from the speaker as humanly possible. So I sucked. I don’t try to speak French unless I’m around good friends, or those with a sense of humour.

I first discovered sign language at the age of ten, I had to learn the alphabet for brownies. After that it was university, at Deaf Culture Society. What this society gave me was unreal, I would go into a room where talking was band. The only communication that could happen was sign language. It was the first time I had been in a room where I understood everything. After hardly any lessons.

I loved it. I picked it up really well and it was such a confidence boost. Plus, its much more useful for me than French! That’s why I thought Silent Child was amazing, I understood completely. I understood the need for sign, I understood the isolation, I understood the pain. I will not tell you any more as you need to go watch it yourself! I have been in plenty of situations where I cannot hear properly, where I struggle and sometimes no one cares. And there’s not much I can do.

I stand with a foot in each world. I cannot fully move to the deaf world as I have no means to learn sign language fully. I cannot fully be in the hearing world as I struggle to understand everything that is said around me. But thankfully I can ask for a big apple in French.

Siobhan

Everyone with a form of disability or challenge experiences bad situations occasionally. Unfortunately it is something we have learnt to deal with.

My latest one happened a few weeks ago. I had booked tickets to something for myself and my mum as a Mother’s Day treat and unfortunately the day before something came up and we couldn’t go. I rung up the ticket provider.

Now before I go any further the issue with what happened is not that I didn’t get a refund, anyone who is partially deaf or knows anyone who is will understand what bothered me.

I rung the ticket provider to ask if is possible to move the date or get a refund. The answer was ultimately no. Shock. However when we started the conversation I asked for his name, I didn’t hear it as he spoke in such a quick harsh voice. I asked him to repeat himself and he goes “I said….” I didn’t hear his name that second time either. For the rest of the conversation I didn’t hear what he said most of the time, any time I ask him to repeat himself he sounded agitated and annoyed. It was clear that he didn’t want to repeat himself for me.

This is what got me. Repeatedly. I got the gist of the conversation when it mattered. I explained my circumstances, I explained very early on that I was partially deaf, I explained every time time that I was sorry that I hadn’t heard. But this is just it, why do I apologise?

The phone call ended and I was left in tears. I didn’t ask to be partially deaf. I didn’t ask to be in a position where I couldn’t use the tickets I had bought. I didn’t ask for anything above what he should have done, wanted to do. And it’s not just that phone call.

Everyday we are in situations where we don’t hear people properly, or at all. How often have we been in a social situation and lost track of the conversation? How often have we completely misunderstood a sentence or topic based on a few misheard words? And worse, how many of us have been hurt by the attitudes of others when we ask them to repeat themselves? Like we asked to be partially deaf and miss most of the conversation.

Sometimes I get fed up with this situation I find myself in too often. I hate the phrase “never mind”. I hate when people say I’m over reacting, I have a right, we have a right, to understand the conversations we are in. To understand the phone calls we have. To understand what a lot of other people understand everyday.

In case you were wondering, my wonderful mum sent them an email and told the ticket provider about their act of disability discrimination. They made a one-off exception and gave us a full refund for the tickets. The person who rung me to tell me this did everything right, and also mentioned that they had reported the person who I had spoken to originally without me asking.

Luckily I had a happy ending. But this does not take us away from the fact that we as partially deaf people have a right. A right that unfortunately some people do not want us to have.

Siobhan